Let’s be real: Most breakups aren’t pleasant. Especially the ones that end with ‘let’s be friends’, which can feel like another blow to your ego. As women, we have the ability to relive the scenario (over and over again), reflect on where things went wrong and generally overthink the entire relationship instead of living in the present.

While it might seem impossible to move on right now, surround yourself around people who will uplift you and trust that time WILL heal those wounds. I have outlined a few signs to help you gauge when it’s finally time to move on and get back to being you.

You’re sick of being sad

It’s often easier to express emotions of sadness and guilt post-breakup, especially if the relationship was taking up a huge chunk of your life. A large breakthrough comes when you just feel sick and tired of being sad! Breakups can often make us feel vulnerable and bring feelings of anxiety, fear and suppressed emotions, which will only lead to feelings of resentment in your next relationship. Try and face your grief head-on – it will bring closure and make you feel better in the long run. Don’t be afraid to feel happy and embrace those positive feelings to help you heal.

It’s been long enough

No one can put a timeframe on how long it takes to move through a difficult breakup, only you can determine. You will know when it’s time to start putting yourself out there again, especially when there’s a longing to meet new and interesting people. Don’t be afraid to be social, make new friends and take part in exciting activities. They will all help make life enjoyable again.

Look towards the future

When going through a painful breakup, it can feel like time has stopped and you’re not going anywhere with your life. While it’s important to acknowledge past relationships as a learning experience, it’s best not to let it consume every ounce of your being. This can often take different forms and overtake your career, friendships, and most importantly, new romantic relationships. Make plans over the next few months to give you something to look forward to – you will thank yourself when the time finally comes.

Listen to your needs

Stop thinking about where you should be and, instead, acknowledge where you are in your life. After a breakup you can feel guilty (if we initiated the breakup), vulnerable and have your confidence shattered. This is the time when it’s important to think about your physical and emotional wellbeing as a long-term factor for happiness. Eat well, keep up social appearances and make sure to keep your heart open; even if it means possible heartbreak. Also, a little chocolate or ice cream never hurt!

Take it slow

Change doesn’t come overnight, so give yourself a bit of growing room in these important few months after a painful breakup. By now, you probably don’t think about your ex-partner as often, and have acknowledged the past and laid those resentful memories to rest; which is something to be proud about! Take some time to think about what you’re looking for in a future partner and keep a positive mind with the help of some fabulous affirmations.