It is often said that ‘time heals all wounds’ but that time ultimately depends on what you make of it. Allow yourself to reflect upon the past, chat about it with friends as much as you need but don’t forget that you’re also living in the present. If you’re currently dealing with a rough breakup, the following tips aim to make the transition a little easier on your heart.

Do: Start a new hobby

Ever wanted to learn French, master the salsa, or even go indoor rock climbing? Take this time to learn a new skill and let yourself be immersed in something that has always been on your bucket list. If you’re afraid to go solo, bring along a girlfriend which will make the class much more enjoyable – especially if you need some extra emotional support. And who knows? The experience might lead to a potential new partner or simple a regular group of friends to interact with when all your coupled-up friends are busy.

Don’t: Spend your days on social media

As women, we often take it upon ourselves to do some super-sleuthing, especially in an age when social media is such a prominent part of our lives. Nothing is better than finding some juicy details about an ex-partner … that is, until the emotional repercussions kick in. Rather than becoming a slave to your social media accounts, make sure to regularly unplug and enjoy the offline parts of your life. There might be times you find yourself lingering on Facebook or Twitter but ultimately it won’t help you to appreciate the better things coming your way. Plus, the block button is an amazing tool we should all use at least once in our lives (maybe more).

Do: Give yourself closure

Closure can be a major part of healing after a breakup, but sometimes we don’t get it and end up blaming ourselves for why the relationship didn’t work out the way we wanted it to. End the negative thoughts and blame with acceptance that you cannot change the past. Create some positive affirmations to replace:

“What did I do wrong?”

“Was I too needy?”

“Did it move too fast?”

“Was there someone else?”

Positive affirmations can help to keep your thoughts grounded and give those nasty theories the boot. Plus, they can do wonders for your self-esteem, especially if repeated everyday. Just a few affirmations in the morning and in the evening can make you smile and confirm that you are dedicated to being your best self.

Don’t: Make drastic changes in your life

Too many times, making drastic changes such as quitting your job, changing your hair colour, or booking a one-way ticket after a break-up can lead to even more confusion and disappointment. You can, however, make small changes that have major impacts on your life. Cutting out junk food, taking up a new hobby and reconnecting with old friends are a great way to add a little variety in your life without rocking your world too much.

Do: Keep up appearances

Rather than hiding away under the doona over the weekend, make plans to keep busy when work isn’t there to distract you from your thoughts. Activity-based plans are ideal since they can take your mind off of the break-up and allow you to have a little fun. Remember, it’s good to give yourself a bit of down-time and a glass a wine in front of the TV (especially after a gruelling week at work), just don’t make it a constant habit.

Don’t: Resort to a rebound

A rebound may seem like a good idea at first but, in reality, it’s a short-term solution that may even create a long-term problem. Don’t rush to fill the void your ex-partner may have left behind, especially if the break up is fresh in your mind. Dating apps, such as Tinder and Plenty Of Fish, might seem like a little harmless fun (especially if you love to furiously swipe left), but will only boost your ego for a limited time. Take this time to reflect on what you really want in a future partner, and don’t settle second best or Mr Right Now.